062217

A SIDE

Mens Fashion Week in Milan!

As expected, the big name men’s brands have released another round of $5,000 shirts that can be found at your local goodwill! Do the people at Missoni and Salvatore Ferragamo just dig through the dumpsters behind the GAP and let the clothes age for 5 years like a fine wine before releasing them to the public? The Prada show was good, Moncler had cool socks, but pretty much everything else bored me to death. 

Malibu 1992 SS18

Probably the most intriguing menswear collection I have seen in some time is the Malibu 1992 ss18 show. Dorian Gray’s second collection conveys perfectly what I can only describe in my mind as ‘prescription exhaustion’. The models faces are drawn, blurring the line between too cool to care and too dazed to even notice. Rather large or misshapen suit jackets, some leaking snakes of fabric from one sleeve, seem appropriate for either dawn or dusk. The opening look is absolutely something I would wear without changing a thing, even down (or up) to the black silk turban, brilliantly tucked into the breast pocket. I am also in love with the print of the men’s shorts and women’s bathing suits, black and gold paisley that looks like flowers that look like snakes. I could go on forever about the beautiful shapes and color choices, (the outerwear in that perfect shade of washed out yellow!) however the only thing that I wasn’t 100% in love with was the hair / head accessory choices. I understand that the style just screamed 90’s west coast, and that only makes sense given the name of the brand, but I would have loved a sort of chained headpiece (i.e. Christian Dada aw15). Even so, I am left wanting a nice denim crop jacket and a trip to Chateau Marmont.

But seriously, where is the fantasy? The Fullmetal Alchemist homunculi fashion? Where are the styles reminiscent of Darkstalkers and Soul Calibur; Voldo, Ivy Valentine, Jedah, Morrigan, Hsien-ko?

“Millennial” is said to be the most overused word in the fashion world right now, so why does/ has everything from the past few seasons in major fashion brands look so… old?  It is very clear that the experiences and cultures of the target audience for these brands are practically nonexistent in their development. Men are more open to nontraditional styles today than ever before, why aren’t these major brands selling us something other than the same drab khaki nonsense?

***

There is a certain scene that I long for the experience of. One of the places I feel it is at the Playground (formerly The Pier Shops) in Atlantic City, relaxing upstairs in the heavy wooden beach chairs placed in sandpits against a giant glass wall. Watching the sunset over the boardwalk, one of very few ways I find myself enjoying a sunset, eating thin crust pizza and drinking lemonade.

I feel a bit different in the mornings these days. It doesn’t take me all day to get out of bed, and when I do get up, I practically spring up. Suggesting one does not need alcohol to have fun often leads to ridicule from parties of both the food and fashion world, but I have come to understand that certain moments exist that can only be experienced to their full potential through sobriety. That has less to do with drinking as it does with smoking cigarettes, but the two pair undeniably well.

The past few weeks of toying with sobriety has brought me back to some experiences that I entirely forgot existed. Trust me, I very much enjoy having a smoke, however the smell of a crushed blueberry is something that cannot be experienced fully when tobacco clouds the nose.

I’m not going to lie, I’ll still have one here or there. But it is such a freeing experience to no longer be addicted; to stop letting something so small control me. A little discipline goes a long way in realms of hedonism, and the discipline to guide your thoughts leads to some interesting discoveries about the power of imagination.

The scene aforementioned at the boardwalk is similar to another one I experience in my mind’s eye.

A panoramic view of Chicago at night; the street lights, the lake breeze… there is such a sense of peace about it. It is rare for people to correlate the concepts of a city at night with peace and tranquility. It almost seems utopic, a world that could be. 

***

06.14.17 19:06 

Zorba's

Last week I had the pleasure of dining at Zorba's in Greektown, Baltimore. The venue is small and all of the diners are local. The atmosphere is that of a strange coffee house, bright blue walls decorated with awards dating back a couple decades. The food is incredible; there isn’t much else to say.

Malamatina resinated dry white wine

Alcohol content: 11% Vol

Acidity: > 4.2 gr/lt in tartaric acid

Volatile acidity: < 0.45 gr/lt in acetic acid SO2 free > 25 and < 35 mgr/lt

SO2 total: < 180 mgr/lt

Potassium sorbate: < 200 mgr/lt

Sugars: < 4 gr/lt

Density: 0.9930 gr/ml at 20ο C

Polpo

Fried eggplant

Lamb chops, softshell crab, etc.

***

B SIDE

Coffee wakes me up. I’ve been in motion for over an hour now, but it’s the coffee that wakes me up. I spill chocolate milk on the floor instead of in my coffee.

This breakfast makes me want to have beach plans later today.

I want to win the lottery. The magic and madness that would ensue excites me. I also wish the world peace, when our leaders are ordering acts of destruction and horror. They cannot control everyone. Knowing this brings me comfort.

I’ve noticed people frowning at me a lot more lately. For many it seems to come from a place of pity, as if I am an urchin of some sort. Those stares are like music to me. A grand symphony of judgement. 

***

I made a really simple 5 ingredient tomato sauce to have with some gnocchi a few nights ago. 

A few Roma tomatoes, olive oil, red onion, white wine, fresh basil

2015 Chateau Ste Michelle Riesling from Columbia Valley, Washington

I walked into the store and decided to take a gamble, picking the first bottle that stood out. It reminded me a lot of Vinho Verde; super fragrant, slightly fizzy, smells of joy and cheer and white cherries. That ‘candy watermelon’ flavor I love so much, without any of the sweetness.

Roasted potatoes

Roasted potatoes, parmigiano, egg, mascarpone, flour

Gnocchi, swiss chard, tomato sauce, parmigiano

***

Sometimes I just feel very adrift. For brief moments I get a little lost. I get a little upset at the world.  I find myself green with envy of people with more time, more money, and easier jobs.

I am well aware that having everything handed to you never gives you the chance of understanding the value of achievement, but mostly I feel this towards the concept of pressure making a diamond out of coal. But where do we go from there? Seemingly only uphill but what does that even lead to? What difference does it make to fight and struggle and eat shit for years to just die? Like everyone before, leaving behind perhaps a few quotes, maybe some notable works, and a name.

I feel very out of place because of how I view the world and, as unimportant as it is, how the world views me. I’m only ever interested in the thought process of others to better navigate this maze on a daily basis. I often feel as though I am labeled as being rather effeminate, notably by people who lack confidence in their own identity the most. To anyone who just might have an issue with me proudly expressing femininity, I guarantee you that I am more of a man than you will ever be.

I often wonder when I became so jaded, and why practically everyone close to my age is either married, has children, or is in some sort of standard ‘human’ relation.

I don’t want to have intimate relationships with trees. I don’t want to have intimate relationships with fences or roller coasters either, but some people do. I am an adult male who has had relationships with both men and women, and yet somehow I don’t feel particularly drawn or attached to either. I don’t feel anymore and it frightens me from time to time that I cannot feel. To say that I never want another relationship wouldn’t be true, but just after a few moments of consideration I immediately find that I’m no longer interested. Are my standards too high? Am I really that shallow?

I’ve always thought that being shallow was more of a physical thing, something that I find myself the farthest thing from. What I find attractive is body language. The way someone walks, the way they carry themselves; the things that make them uniquely themselves, not whatever aesthetic (as intriguing at it may be) they’ve adopted. Outside of words, outside of appearance, these are practically the only things that humans do to truly differentiate themselves from one another.

Sometimes I think I’m chasing a dream that doesn’t exist. I worry that I am not progressing fast enough, and that the only reason I’ve made it this far in my career is because I’ve always felt that too much effort has been put in to stop now (whenever random times along the line that ‘now’ has been over the years). I worry that I’ve blindly followed leaders who rarely consider my existence to lead me to some sort of victory or finish line. What is it that I’m even moving towards other than the grave?

I understand that once I die, my existence as ‘Dominic’ is complete, and that whatever it is that makes up this meat car I roam around in everyday will decay. The rot will return to the finite amount of matter on the earth, recycled back into anything and everything around us at any given moment. But what of the consciousness perceived as my existence, or vice versa for that matter? Have we really fooled ourselves into believing that our sensory intake makes up some sort of ‘being’ or ‘spirit’?

Society is all of our parents, and it teaches us from birth to be ‘people’, to walk, learn some words, wear clothes, eat with utensils, learn some more words, poop, procreate, and die. Why are people who refuse this cycle of society either cast away or silenced all together? Is it truly blasphemous of me to use words learned through this process to paint a picture of the hamster wheel we’re all on?

But as soon as any of this is brought up or said in public forum, no one wants any part of it. Mostly out of fear I think. They think that someone or something is trying to deconstruct or destroy their world. I know for a fact that I am not, because there really is no way to know if anything really exists beyond the constant assault of our sensory intake from the phaneron.  Most people on this earth are so focused on painting their own imaginary little picture on the vast, endless canvas that they fail to see the entire mural. Myself included.

Society is a river of blood, and all we can do is spend our lives trying to enjoy the taste.

Where do we go from here?